The Secret I've Told Everyone!

If you read my blogs you'll know that 2012 wasn't a great year for us and that only gives you an insight on what I feel comfortable to share, but what 2012 has taught me is life is too short. Whilst this has been a tough year for us we've faced absolutely nothing compared to what some friends and their loved ones are having to cope with. It's these times you have to put things into perspective and take a minute to realise how lucky you are. I'm truly blessed to have my daughter, hubby, family and friends around me, but I'm also guilty of forgetting this and not picking myself up. 

I'm impatient and like to plan everything. So when things happen outside my control I struggle. In 2012 one thing after another happened outside my control and I had a mini melt down shall we say.

Anyway one thing I learnt from this is I can't plan everything! The timing will never be perfect. Life isn't without it's ups and downs and nothing goes without it's hiccups.  You have to find a way through it and sometimes you can search and search and there just aren't any answers.

I've always said I'll like to plan two children and I also said I'd like a 3-5 year age gap, but seeing as my daughter is 5 years in June this isn't going to happen. We hadn't started trying sooner because I wanted to have my business more established before trying for baby number 2. I wanted everything in place so that when I needed to take a little time out on maternity my business would still be there when I returned. 

I know I say it repeatedly but I love what I do, but lately I've started to love it a little less all the time and the reason for that is I've put my hold life on hold for the business. I stopped socialising as much, thinking I needed to be working on the business more and feeling guilty if I wasn't working 24/7 on it. More importantly I put my dream of having this perfect age gap on hold for it. Then when my our personal circumstances meant the business had to take a back seat it left me feeling angry that my business is still not established and it hasn't been because I've had another child. It's been because of things outside my control.

So as you've probably of guessed already our secret is that we are trying for baby number 2. I came of the pill in August and I planned to tell no-one as I'd like for it to be a secret till I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and for Pie to be the 1st one we tell when we know everything is OK. So far though I've got so excited about the thought of extending our family I think I've just about told everyone I know and so I thought I might as well put into out there now, hence the blog post. I should be keeping it quiet as once people know your trying they are naturally going to ask 'are you pregnant yet,' since I can't lie for toffee this will be a problem since I don't wish to announce it till I'm 12 weeks pregnant. However I need to talk about it, it's eating me up. The world of trying for a baby is a lonely place and I feel like I need to just rant about how I'm feeling in the hope I feel better to be frank. 

I've always been on the pill, well since I was 14 years with the exception of coming off to try for my daughter and then then going straight back on it. So I've been on the pill roughly 12 years with a 11 month gap when I we had my daughter. When we tried the 1st time round it happened no joke 1st time to my husbands disappointment who wanted to practise some more ;). So whilst I kept saying next time it could take ages as I've seen the struggles some of my friends have faced trying to conceive, I  in all honestly deep down believed as I'm fitter than I was when I had Pie that in would just happen straight away again. 

However it's now been 4 months and don't think for one minute I'm trying to be disrespectful as I know people try for 10 years plus without anything happening, but I'm struggling that nothing is happening. I don't just mean I'm not falling pregnant I mean I've been feeling crap since coming of the pill and that doesn't show any signs of improving. I'm up and down everyday and it's not settling down. One day I feel fine and the next day I'm in tears over nothing, irritable and hating the world. I've had no period since August and I'm all over the place. I feel exhausted all the time and even lightheaded sometimes - it's like a pregnancy with no baby. I start to get excited that I'm pregnant only to be disappointed that I'm not. I know that I'm unbelievably lucky to already be a mum and I don't take that for granted, but when your broody and believe your pregnant and feel pregnant only to find out your not it can pull on the heart strings and make you emotional. I been to the doctors and basically just been told that my hormones are likely to be all over the place since coming of the pill and there really isn't nothing they can do. I've been told to go back in March if my periods haven't returned and they'll do some tests then just to check everything is normal. 

So it's just a waiting game now for everything to return to normal. It can't come quick enough, I just want to feel myself again. I haven't been helping matters though, as you may of noticed I haven't been doing blog posts on here recently and the reason is I'm so shattered that I'm just not motivated and since I can't seem to motivate myself it's hard to write a post that will help and inspire others to be healthy. The lack of motivation means I haven't been eating a healthy palette and quite the opposite in fact. I feel annoyed with myself as I truly believe that the better you eat the better you feel.  I know this is the case as one of the things the nutritionist discussed with us as part of the Weight Management Programme is changes to your nutrition can help with hormones levels and so I implemented her advice, I soon felt a great deal better. I really had no idea how a few changes could help with PMT, depression and so fourth ,but then more bad news came and Christmas and I found temporary comfort in junk food.

So how am I feeling after a 2 week binge?! More low, tired, bloated, heavier and annoyed with myself. I feel sickened with myself when I think about what I've been putting into my body recently. So what am I going to do? Sort it out! I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and take better care of myself. This week I'm going to start exercising again and eating better. I'm going to start posting again and will keep you updated with my progress. I'm not going to get my motivation back overnight, but I'm at least going to try and get it back. Wish me luck.

Dealing with cravings and frustration when the results aren't showing!

I recently wrote a blog about setting goals and making a plan for results. In this I talked about setting yourself challenges. However whenever you set yourself a challenge or are following a new exercise regime or perhaps a diet it will only work if you see it through. 

Last night after doing a week without sugar treats I was really struggling - in the evenings it really gets to me. I posted on my facebook page "Can I keep it up?" and one person replied "yes you can" and we ended up talking about how they were struggling too and how they'd had a bad evening and ended up eating lots of naughty treats. We shared tips with each other and it made me realise I'm not alone and to come up with a new plan. Introducing 'The dealing with frustration and cravings plan', which I'll go to whenever I'm struggling.

These are my 25 top tips: 

1) Share you struggle. Post in on your facebook status, twitter or start a blog journey like me.  Or start a group on facebook with friends that are working on goals too. Sometimes all it takes is someone saying you can do it. Or simply check in with me - leave a comment on the fanpage or tweet me.

2) Take photos! You may dislike them but let that fuel you. Don't avoid taking them because you dislike what you see - let the photo drive you. Nobody has to see it. Take a picture of yourself in your underwear in the mirror so you don't have to ask anyone to do it (if you don't wish too) and every 4 weeks take another. Let the photo from the previous month motivate you for the next month.

3) Put that photo in your purse! Whenever your out and nearly go to buy a treat open up your purse and remind yourself that for every treat like that = the photo won't change.

4) Visual aids. Get two plastic clear cups so you can see through them and watch your progress. Count in pennies (or whatever you wish) the amount of lbs or inches you wish to lose (depending on which way your measuring your progress). Then write on one 'lbs/inches lost' and on other 'lbs/inches to go'. Then place the pennies in the 'lbs/inches to go' and as you get closer to your target watch the 'lbs/inches lost'  fill up. Place in your kitchen to remind yourself to keep going.

5) Don't weigh, re-take photos or measure yourself without a good gap. Re-do these things every month, it takes approximately 4 weeks for you to notice a change so don't allow the scales to mislead and depress you. Restrain yourself!

6) Give yourself enough time!

7) Start a diary/food logger. Sometimes we don't realise how much we are eating until we write it down. Begin keeping a journal of everything you eat and drink and ensure you control your portions sizes, but are eating enough to keep burning calories. Your body will store fat if you don't feed it with enough good nutrients. 

8) Check you are in fact being healthy! Sometimes we think we are eating healthy because of the way food has been marketed or because of the media. Don't assume anything. Google what your eating and check it supports your goal. You might be surprised. 

9) Find some inspiration! There are so many motivational posters and success stories online. Google 'Inspirational' images. Put the story or photo that sticks out for you on your fridge!

10) Buy some health magazines and books. Knowledge is key! Some have great tips and it can be really  motivating reading other peoples success stories. 

11) Remember one defeat isn't DEFEAT. It ain't over till you say. Forgive yourself and move on. 

12) Remind yourself why the foods you are giving up are bad for you. 

You'll never look like this with junk food!

13) The little things count. Whilst reading this are you drinking water? Is your tummy pulled in and your shoulders back. Do it now :-)

14) Remember you are the only person that can nourish your body. Treat your body,  not your mind. Your body isn't craving bad foods but will pay the consequences. Reward your body, don't punish it.

15) Think you can't lose much weight doing short exercise busts? Think again. Doing short intense work-outs  will burn a heck more than choosing to do nothing. 20 minutes WILL and CAN make the difference!

Effective but only 4 minutes long :-)

16) Be honest with yourself. If you want it enough you won't quit. Ask yourself 'Do I really want it? How bad do I want it?

17) Keep busy and if it's late on an evening and your considering eating naughty food then just go to bed. Plenty of sleep will only help your results.

18) If you do decide you can't hack it and do indulge then make sure you earn it! Pick an exercise you find really challenging and do 50 reps before allowing yourself to binge. Do warm up and cool down though.

19) Rather than focusing on weight-loss or creating a more defined you focus on becoming a FITspiration. The fitter you are the better you feel and the more likely you are to succeed. 

20) Prepare yourself! It will take time, it will suck, it will hurt and it will be emotional, but look at those people who've made it and I doubt you'll find one that will say it wasn't worth it. Expect it to be hard work and suck it up. Be determined. Find a way to stop letting money, time, motivation, stress, depression and so on stop you achieving. Fight for it. Earn it and own it. It's yours for the taking but you can't wish for it you need to work for it. 

21) Say 'No' with pride! People will challenge you and try to tempt you. Be proud of what your doing and tell them LOUD AND PROUD 'No thank you'! and when they say 'Surely you can have one' you say 'Yes I can but no thanks, I'm not on a diet you see but I care enough about my body to not load it with junk'! Think about it....they probably don't really care if you succeed or not as they don't feel about you and your body the way you do. They may not feel you need it, but your doing it for YOU not them. Practice saying 'No thank you'!

22) Don't become fixated and worried about everything you eat. Enjoy the learning process. Trial and error wins the race. It doesn't matter if you don't get it quite right, in fact getting it wrong means you'll succeed because you've learnt from it. Don't beat yourself up and don't obsess over everything you eat. 

23) Get friends on board. Meet up once a week to share how your doing, start a joggers group. Join classes together. Walk the kids to school together. Off load your frustration and listen to theirs. You'll soon see your not alone. 

24) Treat yourself after the small successes. Those small successes all add up and are helping you on your way.  Acknowlege the achievements and stop only focusing on the slip ups. Reward yourself after the little successes even if it's just with a file and polish.

25) Finally START NOW! Don't say Monday! Remember COMMITMENT = SUCCESS

I hope you find this useful, please do share you tips too x

Goal setting for weight-loss success!

Firstly never set a goal to lose weight. Yes you may want this and it's fine to follow a programme to do this, but don't let this be your main goal....trust me! Real weight-loss and not just a quick fix, but something you wish to maintain takes time, but if you focus on being healthy the rest will naturally follow! Of course you can lose weight really quickly following the right diet and exercise regime but if once it's completed you put it all back on it's pointless. 

Your 1st goal should always be to re-educate yourself. Knowing how to read food labels, which foods will keep you feeling fuller for longer and so on will make you much more likely to succeed permanently. 

Now set specific goals that are achievable but will help your individual needs for e.g if you struggle to stay off the sweet treats then your goal would be to research and learn some healthy sweet recipes that you enjoy. 

One of my goals is to try something new every week. The reason for this is I'm really fussy however I know it's important to eat a variety of foods for results and health. Making this a perfect goal for me which allows me to slowly increase my palette of food which eventually will make it easier for me to eat healthy which equals a fitter me. Happy days!

Write a list of your weaknesses and set yourself a challenge based on where you struggle. 

My goals are to tone up my rear and get some definition in my arms and lower stomach. I'll be posting soon how I plan to do this with setting specific goals to help me succeed. 

Facing reality....

Some people all their life have struggled with their weight and others like myself got away with eating junk, never touching a vegetable, drinking excess amounts of alcohol and never having to exercise and staying skinny. The silly thing is for me I never actually appreciated at the time that I was pretty perfect and was still unhappy with the way I looked. I now believe that this is a very important lesson to learn before going on any health kick......will you know if you actually look good? If not then really what is the point if your still unhappy. People lose weight all the time and don't see it so I think it's important to learn to be contented, but also I always recommend taking some photographic evidence so you can visually see your results.

Me on holiday in Tenerife when I was 21 and stupidly thought I needed to lose weight!!

I use to blame the fact I'm now a mum on why I find it harder to maintain my size, but actually this is just an excuse that can go on for far too long as to why your not back into shape. For me it was never because I became a mum but it took me a while to be honest about this. Yes stretch marks came when I was pregnant but extra weight gain definitely not. I tried to convince myself it was, but actually I was quite poorly in pregnancy and lost a stone and eventually at the end put back on another 3 stone so ended up just 2 stone heavier than what I was originally. The 1^st stone came off more a less as soon as Peta was born and the extra stone gradually over the first 6 months. However when Peta was 15 months I was my biggest yet and the blame for my weight was still having a baby, well since I'd already lost that weight once and the 1^st stone was nearly all baby and considering her age well it quite simply was just an excuse to make myself feel better for not taking proper care of myself.  It was only when I looked back on photos of myself at 6 months that I realised this and owned up to the fact I was making excuses for myself. The reality is you can get away with a lot more when your younger without it visually showing, but it will catch up with you evenually.

Luckily I was still just classed as having a healthy BMI (a lb more and I was classed as overweight) but this is about the time I realised I needed to start appreciating I'm not 19 anymore and actually I can't live on sh*t without exercise and still be healthy size. If I continued I would in fact keep putting on weight and feeling rough from lack of nutrition. This was at this time I starting improving my fitness and looking at my diet. The first step in succeeding is owning up to any excuses. Do you ever blame time, money or having a baby for not being in shape? Don't get me wrong I don't believe in pressuring yourself within a certain time frame to be back in shape but if like me after a year your still not back where you want to be it's time to face reality. Yes there are plenty of factors that make it difficult, nothing in life you really want comes easy but work hard and evenually you earn your results. 

What to do if you can't stick to your diet!

I cannot diet end of. I simply have no willpower for it. I love food, especially junk food and find it so difficult to eat bad food in moderation. So I don't buy it and set myself individual challenges rather than following a specific diet plan that restricts certain foods. I don't agree with restricting yourself something, but everything in moderation.  All these diet plans have been set up to make money and don't care if your just losing muscle not fat or if your not getting the required nutrients you need. So to really succeed you need to get the devil out of your body. By this I mean your devil. That one food(s) that you know is really bad for you and if your honest with yourself your most probably addicted too. This is your devil because it's likely making your fat, unhappy and definitely unhealthy. Quite simply you need to tell him or her to pee off!

I had quite a few. The main one for me was fizzy drinks. I went cold turkey about 2 years ago and to this day I haven't had a slip up. I was really addicted to these drinks especially diet coke and would send my hubby out at ridiculous o'clock to get me a can. I drank them everyday and the more I drank them the more I wanted.....yes it may seem crazy but I was a fizzy drink addict! Think about it could you tell me what makes up those fizzy drinks? Basically I was just polluting my body.

If you eat something everyday that you know isn't good for you or you find something difficult to eat in moderation then go cold turkey. If it's just you can't have one packet of crisps and before you know if you've ate 6 bags then just don't have any. Your not restricting yourself to any specific food group then, but just saying no to a bad addiction. After all it's not that tiny mouthful of something naughty occasionally making you fail in your goals it's the food or drink that you eat in excess. Give it up! It will be hard, it may take several attempts, but just from giving up certain addictions you'll be so much closer to succeeding.

Let me know your addictions and how it goes x